Immortality

Copenhagen: 17th December 2006

The Danish Government today admitted that it had been adding stupid to the nation's drinking water supply since 1989.

Spokesman for the Ministry of the Interior and Health, Unter Whelming stated, "Our investigations have confirmed that a since disbanded government department began adding stupid to the water supplies to stop its citizens questioning Denmark's constitutional monarchy. Despite the department's demise several years ago, it had left contingency plans in place to keep adding stupid indefinitely"

"We have exonerated the parliament of the time as our investigations have confirmed that additional amounts had been added to some areas, including Copenhagen."

Denmark's Prime Minister was unavailable for comment, with his office only issuing a statement to the effect that he has every confidence in his Ministry to rectify the issue. The Royal Family has refused to make any comment on the matter, directing all queries to the police or government.

The MIH has assured citizens that supplies of the rare chemical - extracted from the brains of fundamental christians - are no longer being added to water and that people should return to less stupid states in the near future, although some men would be permanently afflicted, leading to outbreaks of terminal stupidity.

Filed: Gjerta Frederiksen

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